work is good; H is crazy

[Whiterose]

You all make very valid points.

I cannot get access online by going to the bank.....they don't have access abilities. I could have tried on line but it's very difficult, at best, they could have shut down the account and I would have had to re install it with a new pw.

I have all the info now so it's good. Eric, generally, I don't initiate conversation, I'm actually pretty good with waiting for him, but it's been frustrating not knowing if my child support was there, what the balance was if the mortgage was to go through, and every time I would go up to the bank and have to access info via the machine. I've been doing this for months and months. The reason I'm not getting paper statements anymore is because his name is on the acct and anything with his name is automatically forwarded to his new address, I cannot get his name taken off the mailing address as it's generated from head office and his name is on the acct, they won't remove it.....I agree I could have gone the L route, was going to, but just spent $300 to get my child support info, as he would not respond to my texts, and didn't feel like spending even more money.
I do pick and choose what I'll answer to if he does text me. There are times I've never sent a response, and, as you read, I did not engage in any talk about the iTunes, past things we'd agreed to that I sent letters about (although I really wanted to know what the hell he was talking about) I kept to the login info and then answered his questions about the boys.....everything else remained untouched (as it were).

I'm going to have to talk to s14 about his responses to his dad. Both boys have been VERY reluctant to tell him their feelings. I try as much as I can to validate their feelings, tell them it's ok, tell them he'll still love them but, in all these months they are are just unable to express themeselves. I think S14 uses ignoring H as a defence mechanism and may be tired so is starting to use me. I'll see what he says and maybe let H know they are not comfortable spending anything more than a few hours with him at the moment??? I know they should tell him but how do I force them when they're, quite obviously, scared??