I think it's natural for us to assume the other shoe will drop. Sometimes it is our gut telling us something is off... other times it's our own fears speaking so loudly to convince us that it is a guarantee and we need to flee the situation....
..whatever the reason, the truth is that at any time it IS quite possible the other shoe will drop. That is life and a risk we must take in order to be intimate with others.
Our goal is not to change that truth - only to control how it affects our thoughts and behaviors.
From our situation, we have learned that we our marriage can't define us.. and no person should have the power to dictate our self worth. We learn that although our spouse can make our life more fulfilling, it is completely possible for us to be happy on our own. Happiness is a feeling that comes from within and one that we need to fight for on a daily basis.
We learn to guard our hearts. That although love is still there, so is the pain. Trust was broken and must be rebuilt. We must validate our own fears however be completely aware that how we express those fears impacts our relationships with others.
And finally we now believe that is not guilt and fear that creates true change only grace and love. How we handle situations and how we treat others teaches others how they should treat and handle situations with us in return. This takes time. This takes patience.
You are completely in the driver's seat here RT. How smooth the ride is and how long the journey... I don't know. However it's completely in your hands and girl... you got this.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
