The issue w/the password is one that has stuck in his craw because of the iTunes issue. He feels that he was entitled to use your account, etc. and he didn't want to set his own up.
As for the bank password, etc., this is a joint account and one that you pay the mortgage from. Yes, you need the info to monitor the account. You have assured him that you will share any changes and that should be good enough...but wait! Right now, he's got control and is making you "beg" for the info. He thinks he's got a bargaining chip that he can use.
You might want to check with your bank...even if you are doing electronic banking from this account, you could also request a hard copy of the statement each month. Don't allow this man to jerk you around...there are many ways to get what you need in today's society.
As for your sons...you will need to sit down w/S14 and have a good talk w/him about the lies. This isn't good and if he doesn't want anything to do w/his father, then he needs to tell him. The lying is only going to escalate and his father is going to continue hammering you about the issues.
Good luck!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
