work is good; H is crazy

[Whiterose]

this is kinda how it all went down last night after I asked for the login info again

H: Hi WR I'm very reluctant to send you this info I'm very concerned you will changed the login info and until everything is settled and we no longer need a joint acct I would like to have access

Me: I understand but will not change it until then

H: I'm pretty sure you said the same about the iTunes acct and I lost all of that (I never did say I wouldn't change it and I'l always had access....my cc had been on the acct for about 3 months by the time I changed it.....he had all his music on his iPod so did not lose anything)

Me: Please, I won't change the login, but, am entitled to access and as I don't get paper statements any longer i need to go through online now

H: I'm not denying you access you can always go to the bank. How do I know you won't change your mind like you have done on the last couple of things I thought were agreed upon only to get a letter a few weeks later (I really don't understand what he's referring to here......I'm not sure what he thought we had agreed upon that I've changed my mind on....my L has not sent my retort to his L's letter yet)

Me: I've promised you I won't. You have it here in writing if I were to. If you won't send it to me I'll go through our L, which I don't want to do as it's unnecessary and expensive, but, I'm entitled to access and would like the login info please

Then he starts a what do you need? (Login & pw) You created the pw (he's meaning me but I created it years and years ago and have not used it) and I realize he's enjoying it so I start going on line to try pw and just as I try the third one (three times wrong it locks you out of the system) he sends me the pw. By now I've tried it three times and we're both locked out. I thanked him for the pw and told him we're locked out now as I tried the name and he said "Oh I may have made it xyz" I said I did not know that and that I would call the bank today to let them know it was just me trying to access the acct. He then asks me to give him the pw if I change it (this is obviously a bother to him) at which I say I have no intention of changing the pw unless the bank makes me and I would let him know. I don't understand why he cares if I have it? Why does he need it is the bigger question (I mean his name is on the acct and he has a right to it) but other than depositing my child support into the acct I pay the mortgage off of the acct and nothing else happens there)......

He then asked if I had talked to S14....which electronics he was not grounded from as he told his dad he can no longer check his email.

I let H know that the boys were out (they were) and I had not had a chance to really discuss it with them.....my problem is this is the second lie S14 has told his dad. The first one was that I keep him busy on weekends and cannot visit his dad and the second is that he cannot check his email. YES he's grounded from his computer and iPad (he skipped choir, a full credit extra curricular, after I told him he had to see the class through until the end of the year and now he's been kicked out so no computer/ipad until the school year ends....H never asked WHY I did what I did) but he can check his email on his phone, which he still has. I did tell H that S14 has his phone but as he's never been big on it the best way to get ahold of him may be through the home phone. No response.

Any thoughts??