Perspective - The Reality of the Trip

[RealityTrip]

wella, wella, wella, woo... "tell me more, tell me more, did ya get very far? tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?" So... I can sing all the lyrics to Grease, in chronological order (really). It's going to be my talent in the DB Pageant. Don't hate... you KNOW you are singing along now.

And... I put my wedding ring back on. There. I did it. Here's why: Talking to my Aunt's, they reminded me that my ring is a symbol of my commitment to my W and our marriage. How simple is that? So, I put 'er on. Didn't make a deal of it to my W, just did it. Feel good about it. Not over thinking it.

Yesterday, good. Easy Peasy. W has seemed a little funky, I asked her if she was feeling ok... physically... she said yes. I won't press, but something was on her mind last night. Less affectionate, less engaged, REALLY quiet. So I read all night and let her swim around in her head with very little interruption from me.

I read on an infidelity blog last week... when asked by a reader, how do you know if the cheating spouse is truly remorseful?

The answer was, "Real remorse makes their own therapy appointments..." etc...


I thought... hmmmm, I think agree with that. Then I did a little RT, crazy train loop in my head on it. 'W hasn't been to IC since she had her surgery.' BUT 'she was rehabbing' BUT 'she can now...' BUT 'she said she is working too much to make an appointment' BUT 'I don't believe her' BUT 'Excuses' BUT, BUT, BUT...

Yesterday at lunch W asked me if we could go to lunch today at 1:30, that since her work trip was cancelled due to weather, she called her IC and made an appointment for today at 3.

Take THAT crazy train conductor in my head! Patience. It's such an issue for me.

I'm starting to address the "other shoe will drop" fear of her leaving again in my head. I'm sorting my thoughts on it and sitting with some emotions to make sense of them and their irrationality vs. rationality. I will post more on it later...