Frankly I am getting depressed with this whole situation. Sprint/Marathon, still [censored]. Now I am even starting to doubt our relationship. Probably some resentment there for the WAW. It is like I keep trying different things and nothing works and it seems to be getting harder to keep trying.
Hey TS,
It's not all about trying different things; it's about consistency! Yes, you are implementing changes; we all do. I am sure we all took a hard look in the mirror and most likely didn't like what we saw, or, realized the things that weren't working not only in the M, but in ourselves.
Couple of things I will share that I have read, either here or elsewhere and that others have already stated:
1) Changes are for YOU and what you want! Yes, some of these will be directly related to improving your relationship dynamic, but make sure they are true changes and not just out of desperation to get her back!
2) Consistency - whatever changes YOU make must be consistent. Keep following through. Trying different 180's is one thing; not all will be as effective. But the changes must stick with consistency and this is where the "marathon" comes in. It's going to take weeks / months for her to start seeing these as permanent.
3) Have no doubts that she "reinforced" and fortified her wall that is up. God forbid the LBS actually makes those changes that are beneficial and may actually touch her heart / feelings in some way! Can't have that....at least not yet until she has time to see you are truly sincere.
4) Resentment - You bet it is there along with some anger no doubt! You may not see it yet and she may not talk about it. I know mine has it. Even though we are in MC/IC, she is still holding onto the past but has not let anything out yet. Takes them a while to be safe enough to talk about.
Keep your head up bro! as many have said, STFU about R talks, asking "what's wrong" etc. Get you GAL on! Focus on the kids! Be the best man and father you can be. Be the one she would be a fool to leave. It's a long road and it's hard as hell; hang in there and detach, but love from a distance!
On a side note; you said you bought a guitar. That's great! I play myself; have for years! I encourage you to dive into it and let your creative self out. This has been my best source for just "forgetting" everything and getting "lost" in the music. I can play for hours!
Azagtoth
Me: 44 X WAW/MLC: 42 Kids: S21, D11 BD: July 2013 (ILYBNILWY) EAx2: Busted 1 OCT 2013; 25 Mar 2014 Status: Divorcing & Done! Waiting to be final (Nov 2014?) & glad it's finally over!
