I'm in, wife's out

[trc2009]

Just to give a background on the separation.

I agreed to stay somewhere else at nights. During the day, I come and go as I please because my kids are there. I'm there nearly every day for several hours a day. I'm just sleeping elsewhere.

Usually 1-3 nights/week, I stay at the house with the kids and she stays with family. She literally still does my laundry every day. We occassionally eat dinner.

But most of our fights were happening AFTER the kids went to bed and we didn't want to put ourselves in positions where we were fighting for the time being.

We did have a conversation on Sunday about how this was going to work if this drug out for several months. We agreed that one way or another, she needs to get a job. More for her sanity, but possibly for her financial stability if she does end up getting her own place (I will not subsidize her in that regard...she's on her own). But that's not possible until she gets a job.

When she does have a job (which could be weeks, could be months....who knows in this job market?), I suppose we'll have to have another conversation about whether or not she's getting her own place. Or maybe not? You guys tell me. Again, I'm in the process of disengaging from her at the moment.

Also, are their rules on stuff that you do for your spouse that you've always done? For instance, I always took our cars to get oil changed, tires changed, etc. She never did. Her car needs an oil change badly. Do I keep doing those things that I've always done in the past?