Portia, How are you doing these days? Bea speaks the truth because there isn't one magical moment that says you are done. Getting to the point of being done is like peeling an onion for me. The layers of hurt and pain had to be peeled away little by little and it took a long time to do so. However, once the layers were peeled away and I was molding myself and my new life into something that I was happy with, I suddenly realized that I was finished. My life had taken off and I could see the horizon once again w/o dread of the phone calls or emails or the crazy stuff my xh would do. Now, when we have contact, he's just a person that I knew and the pain/hurt isn't there any longer and I can look at him just as I do anyone else on the street.
Let me just say this, I forgave him, but I will not forget the way he behaved or the things he said to me and about me...but that stuff doesn't bother me now at all. I have learned to consider the source.
Portia, in time, you'll get even stronger and will be able to heel from this experience. Yes, it's hurtful and the way that they go about it makes it even worse, but there's no way of getting around this experience, but to go through it and come out the other side. Right now, you are still very close to the eye of the storm, even if he's not be in touch much...but once you've gotten to the other side, you'll look back on the experience and see just how odd the situation was w/him and you'll truly come to realize that you are stronger than you think and he truly was lost.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
