Portia - getting 'over it' takes a terribly long time. In one sense we don't, as I think this type of dismissal and betrayal is peculiarly hurtful. But we get better, and stronger, and it ceases to matter as much.
The wanting to hear from them - I so get that. That was me for a longish period. All I can say is now I would prefer not to hear from my xh. To say 'I do not want to hear from him', makes it sound more extreme than it is. I would simply prefer a life with him wholly gone. For my children's sake I would like him to settle with them, but as for me - too much time and water passing under bridges. Which is terribly sad for us both. All so unnecessary.
Like Eric says there isn't a moment when we are 'over' this, but there are moments when we realise how far we have come and how little our x partners matter to us on a day to day basis.
But it does take time - and there is evidence which suggests that on average, women take longer to heal from this than men do. Clearly this is an average, but it might help explain why there are so many more women here than men.
