I hope this doesn't add to your confusion, but I wanted to add or clarify something about support regarding the family pet who has been so loved over many years

To me, this sad occassion you both will face is different from the celebrations of birthdays and Valetines. Unless she has asked you not to be there when the pet is put to sleep, I would offer to your support. I would say the same if it was one of her relatives who were in a terrible accident or had passed away.

You wouldn't take advantage of the situation by being there if you aren't wanted or overstay your welcome. I think 25yrs gave you a good example. So without going into a lot of detail, I trust you can see the extrem different events and why you would offer true support (emotional or physical) in this exception. But if you are confused by what I've stated, then let me know and I will try to do a better job explaining what I mean.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!