I am confused about what to do about Valentine's Day. She flat out told me a couple of weeks ago that she did not want to do V-day or her birthday on the 25th. I think what she meant was that she did not want presents or grand gestures. I keep thinking that if I was emotionally absent that I need to show support on these days.
What is your idea of showing support on Valentine's Day if she has left the M?
By her flat out telling you she did not want "to do" these two days.......you think she is saying "no" but really means "yes"?
Has she told you this in the past, when you were living together? If so, did you honor her request or do what you thought she really meant?
I'm not trying to give you a difficult time about this subject, but you might to well to listen to what she is saying.
If your W has moved out of the home, then she clearly wants away from you. You have a nature that wants to pursue her and try to change her mind/feelings. There was a time for pursuit in your relationship with her, but now is not the time. She wants space from you.....and by not stepping back, she will feel emotional pressured.....not support.
Pursuing does not work on a WAW. The harder you press...the farther away you push her. I realize you don't want to believe it, and you want to think the old way works. It won't work this time. But you can learn a new way.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
