Melissa-Yes, I have those feelings and questions: Who are you? Were you always a D-bag? Are you always going to be a D-bag?

He just used to be a man of principles and he even loved a quote about a long marriage being the best status symbol.

He does not fit the description of a narcissist or avoidance syndrome or any of those I see around here so I can only go by my experience.

Husband of now:
Gained 40 lbs
Had EA/PA-claims 'it's over'
Physically present, but not mentally present
Forgetful
Never seems content
Anger and tears just below the surface
Driving around aimlessly every day
On/Off drinking to excess
Left wife/kids
Late for work
Spews script remarks nearly daily
Only contacts when regarding the kids
Very edgy and impatient
Distracted
No goals
Claims he's miserable and unhappy
Will not touch me with a 10 foot pole

Now I know why LBS call them aliens.

Me:33 H:35
M: 12 years
D-15 S-6
Bomb: 6-2013
OW: 11/2013
Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair
Kids and I moved back in 12/2013
H moved out 2/2014