I'm in, wife's out

[trc2009]

Now that I've put that essay out there, there are a few things that I am working on. I've read all of Sandi2's 37 rules.....multiple times. I was amazed at how I was doing the complete opposite of those rules prior to reading them.

I do have a few questions.

1. My wife says "I have to get out of the house and I have to get away from you." Yet she gets very defensive when I ask her if she wants a divorce. I've tried not to ask that question anymore and since our MC session, I quit asking. It's just very confusing. It's almost like she wants a divorce but doesn't want to say it until she's stable and on her own two feet.

2. I've come to the realization that she's probably a WAS. Everything I read about WAS fits her perfectly. After 6-weeks of reading online and trying to make sense of everything, reading that was a eye-popping revelation. Is disengaging at this point the best thing to do? Obviously I have to start taking care of myself regardless of the outcome.

3. It would be so easy for me to say "you want out? You want your own place? Then go." And then just come home. I'm afraid given the fragile state of things, that would just push her completely over the edge. She already says she has trust issues with me (again, I've never cheated and have never hit her. But I have lost my temper a few times in the past. Not my proudest moments because you should never lose your temper but we are where we are). She says things like "I don't know you anymore." "I don't feel like I can ever trust you again," etc. Are those things normal and is it even worth trying?