2nd time around. H wants D. I don't

[25yearsmlc]

Job,

Thank you so much. I agree with his healing, etc the last time. It was about 3 weeks from what I remember between break up and reconciliation. We didn't continue working on us either. H didn't think we needed to.

Not to quibble or beyotch at you, but how did YOU think things were going to be different or better, with so little time apart, and No professional help and No new tools?

I don't get it. I mean, I get that he did not want to, but what were your thoughts at the time?

Were you just so glad he returned that you did not want to rock the boat? Was it at all better?


H then a year or so later started a new career path school and training lasted over 4 years. Then trying to get a job in career still hasn't happened. Very disappointing.
I am planning on backing off and little contact. He is very angry now with me and because he cut it off with OW.
IF HE wants D I'll give it to him.


Well, technically it's not yours to give. The state does it. IF he wants one, he can have one no matter what you do or say.

So, What are your GAL activities now? Any 180s? You cannot detach without GAL but I sense little desire for that in you.

What do you feel YOU have learned as far as being a better w?

Do you have any new tools for conflict resolution or communication? I guess my central question is what did You learn from DBing the first time?




I'm ready to move on and start my live new!
If it works out it does, if not....
Thanks!!

Reconciliations do not "just happen". Growing apart can.

Love is a noun BUT Love is also a verb. Love always requires some sacrifice and it always requires some Action on our parts. It does not land on us. Make sense?