About a month ago I started seeing signs that W may be looking at starting a relationship again. I confirmed this and we have gone on a couple of dates.
Good! Believe it or not, this is how most reconciliations start out. Take things SLOW. This isn't a race. It's not much different than if you were dating someone new.
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There has been little talk about the future of us or mending past mistakes, of course, it may be too early for that.
Yeah, I think it's too early. Hard to tell where it's going yet, so maintain your independence and see where it's going first.
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We may find out that the only thing we have in common anymore is our children, which I admit is the biggest reason for me to look at renewing a relationship.
Your kids deserve loving parents who can model to them what a great R looks like. If you and your ex can't find your way back to loving each other then you will do your kids no favors by getting back together.
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So the advice I am seeking is how do I start this process?
Keep dating for now. If things get more serious then you're going to need to have a serious talk about what has happened, how BOTH of you have changed and in what ways, and where both of you see things going.
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I am afraid that she plans to just start over and not work through any past problems.
I would say that if she has interest in reconciling, then she probably has worked through a lot of her past problems. When you finally left her alone she probably started that journey.
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One of the main problems in our marriage was poor communication.
You'll need counseling for that. I also recommend Retrouvaille, although I think they require that you be married to participate in it.
Also read threads on the Piecing forum, it'll give you an idea of how people reconnect. It'll also show you just how much of a roller coaster reconciling is. It's not a linear process!
