"ANY spouse...want divorce should be allowed to...feel consequences".
So, a beaten spouse who finally wants to end the abuse, gets what from her LBS?
A SSM in which the spouse who feels chronically rejected, who finally realizes the M won't ever have enough affection for their needs, will never "speak in their'love language"', and wants their painful situation to end, files or says they want to.
My question is, why wouldn't you want to advise their LBS to pursue or work on their m?
Because "pursuit" doesn't work, it leads to clinginess which kills attraction, and because it totally disrespects the other spouse's decision. It's basically saying "You say you want a divorce, because _________ , but I disagree and I'm going to keep pursuing you."
My advice to the LBS is to say "I don't WANT a divorce, but I respect your decision and I won't stand in your way. I acknowledge the hurt(s) I caused you, and I've asked for your forgiveness for them and I've owned up to them myself and am working on myself to make me a better person. But I won't stand in your way."
