I would like some help, some advice please. My husband has announced he no longer loves me and no longer wants to be married. He will give no explanations. He has been away from our home for 4 weeks now, and has barely visited or spoken to me. We have 3 beautiful children under 6 who are missing him very much, they don’t understand. He has cut off contact with them too, seeing them once a week for an hour or 2. Neither do I. I thought we had a happy marriage, all be it with normal stresses, like money ,work , not getting to spend much time together. I never thought we were at this point. It’s like he has had a personality transplant. Up until the week before Christmas he was normal, affectionate and loving. Then it was like shutters came down inside him and will not open up. All he will say is he doesn’t love me, he has felt this way for a long time, he doesn’t think we’d be together if it weren’t for the children. He says I am horrible person he can’t stand to be around d and he doesn’t want to wake up in 30 years having been miserable the whole time.
He refuses to speak to me about it at all and says this is how he feels, there is nothing else to say. I don’t know where he has been for the past month, he says with friends I don’t know. His wages have still gone into the joint bank account so I have tried to keep things going as normal as I can. I have had 3 counsellor sessions that I invited him to, he said he would attend each one but pulled out at the last minute each time.
He wants to discuss officially separating today and I am so frightened of this conversation. I really don’t want this. We are in Australia and you have to be separated for 12 months before you can divorce, which is a small comfort, but he is so adamant. He doesn’t seem bothered either by the effect this us having on our children. Our daughters are 4 and 5 and they are missing him so much. Their behaviours have changed, they are very emotional and angry.
I have just read the divorce remedy, and I have already implemented the GAL as best I can (since he has left me with the kids on my own) and I have stopped all contact with him (unless it's about the children) and his family.
He will not speak to me, except via text message. He has started texting me asking me what I am doing, and when but i don't know if that is a good sign or if he is just trying to be controlling.
I am suspicious of him having an affair, which he denies. It's almost like a midlife crisis, that he is running from responsibility but he is only 29.
I jus don't know what to do.
Thanks.