Rebel without a clue

[prometheus]

Since October i have been desperately hoping thigs would improve between my wife and me. For my own part i have tried to remain detached but polite and helpful. Little by little the turmoil that i have been feeling has been subsiding. I can't report significant improvement though. I have done my best to keep talk light and pleasant. Mostly, we have only talked about things to do with the children...and small talk.

Some things that i have noticed with my wifes behaviour have left me scratching my head. She seems to be fine for a while....and then she turns?...lashing out at me for anything she can find fault with(i am the first to admit i have faults..haven't we all?). It seems to me that W is only able to maintain a veneer of civility for a period(days, a couple of weeks?). Then it is back to spewing vitriol or moody silence(could be me being over sensitive though). She does seem annoyed that some of my focus is on her; seems annoyed if i pay her too much attention(eg validating her feelings or things she seems worried about). She wants me to focus on the kids instead(natural enough i suppose).

The end of October saw us having a text discussion about some bills that needed paying. Instead of paying the bills without discussion as i had been doing, i stopped doing so, hoping that would move W to communicate with me about it. I guess i was feeling a little hard done by. I had been paying everything and the money had finally run out. I knew that W had come into several thousand dollars, some of which could be argued should have been shared with me. I suppose that annoyed me. W spent up big, went on a holiday, all the while saying that i was not contributing financially. Even though i *am* contributing around $450 per week by way of paying the rent on the premises we live in, W feels that i should be paying more. I don't want to sound cheap. It seems kind of fair(more than fair?) to me. My own investigations suggest around $150 per week less is all i am *obliged* to pay. I hate this stuff. I would happily give over my entire wage to have my family life back...