Four weeks in, hopeful but just starting!

[KGirl]

I survived the weekend and did not move out after the e-mail/grocery store fiasco noted in the previous posts. I don't know how much is true and how much is bravado, and I'm trying to not take what H's friend said personally. When H came home today he said "[Friend] reminded me that he's met you before... when you brought in the extra cupcakes to work after our wedding." It took everything in my power to not respond with "oh, I can totally see how that lead him to believe I'm a crazy, manipulative woman." I cannot and should not control H's choice of friends/advice-givers, no matter how obviously poor they are. If H admires his friend's life goal to hire a harem of women off the internet for his upcoming 60th birthday (who will hopefully give him a discount because he's in a neck brace right now and can't move very well! I can't help but laugh), I don't want to be a part of that anyway.

I was thinking today about why I hadn't been to see my IC in almost 4 weeks, and the first thought in my head was "well, there's no point in making any changes if H doesn't change his mind." Straight out of DR - need to get it out of my head that he has to make a change first before I do anything! So I scheduled an appointment later this week to talk about codependency in more detail. Everything in that book completely clicked for me. I may not be the adult child of alcoholics, but certainly am the child of a dysfunctional family, with addicts of other kinds.

H has been much more warm and small-talky lately.. which leads me to a question I could use advice on. Tomorrow I plan to go see a movie (it's $5 night at the theater here!), and H has mentioned several times when the previews come on that he also wants to see this same movie. I was thinking of saying something tomorrow like "I'm going to see X movie at 7:45.. you're welcome to come if you'd like" and walk away and see what happens. If I just went w/out saying anything I'd feel pretty cold because I know he wants to see it. But given what I know H and his friend talk about, I now worry about him asking his friend for advice, and friend saying something about how I'm manipulating him, crazy wife can't get it through her thick skull that you're through, get rid of her once and for all, etc. H thinks friend's advice is golden, so I don't want to backslide from whatever may or may not exist (he has to still be in this WAS/EA fog everyone speaks of to not make a move for divorce or move out or even talk about it). It's only been about 3 weeks since I tried to initiate something more relationship-like (see prev. post where I asked about ML and got shot down pretty bad - "nothing's changed, why would I want that?"). As I type it out I may just be temperature checking by asking him... but how literal do I take this rule?
"Go to church, go out with friends, etc. in order to get a life for yourself without waiting on your wife/husband.....but it is okay to invite them, just don't act as if it will change your plans if they do or don't go." Do I risk inviting him, even if it's as nonchalant as "you can come with if you'd like" ?