Stop trying to read everything she says....You are giving me a headache, so I can only imagine what you are feeling at the moment....Ok...I remember, such dark days. Now on to better thoughts!!!!
I hate to tell you Lost, your marriage as you knew it is dead!!! No matter if you reconcile or not, The marriage of old is dead.
Now Eric asked you some specific and prime questions that you can't or unwilling to answer? That should bother you, because you should be able to answer them!
Now I am going to be brutal here....This is my take on things:
You mental view of marriage is that you buy love (actions prove this). Now your dad did this for your mom, but guess what? You aren't your dad and your wife isn't your mom. So you learned this behavior as a child....I suggest learning a new approach to relationships.
You have put job and school in front of family. I get this!! I did it also!! Like Eric, I was a good husband and father. What I learned was I could be better at both.....and how I had been wasn't no where need the best I could be. I can tell you this....once a month to see my kids....NO WAY!!! I would be looking for what ever way I could to see my kids more than that.
You and the wife haven't really been married for 8 years have you? Think about that.....maybe married in a legal sense, but not in a nurturing, partnering, loving sort of way. You have been really separated for must of your marriage because of school and work. Now you will reply that we were married and I paid for everything....because paying for everything is how you learned to show love (not your fault...just is). That isn't marriage my man....not close.
You asked about my outcome and Eric's....Now I will let you into a little secret about us vets. About half have saved their marriages while the other half did not.....But to a man and woman we all saved ourselves....rebuilt the old us in a better manner. We overcame adversity you haven't yet faced in your situation!!! Then, after all that pain and suffering we endured, overcame, and then moved on from...We learned to positively pass it on.
So now Lost!...answer some of the questions. Not the easy quick ones based on the wife....The ones based on you and the man you want to become.
By the way.....Enjoy the snow, it is already snowing here in the mountains a few hours north of you.
