Just caught up on your thread...not much to add except one thing stood out that I felt I could respond to.
Quote:
When am I done like a well done steak, done?
Stop looking for that "moment". IMO, it does not happen that way. I believe that living your life, the way you are RIGHT now, is the way to go. For me, I kept searching for that "moment". It never came that way. Then one day it really hit me...i was done and apparently had been for a while. It just did not hit me the way that you are expecting it. Now maybe that is just how it was for me. I dunno.
I can still remember it ...Something happened that made me think of XW (not even sure what it was) but I stood looking at myself in amazment...I felt very different. That is when it hit. I was done. It was about as big of an 'ohh..I'm done moment - yet it was not that big. I remember saying..."wow - I was done a while ago and never really even realized it". It was then that I understood.....
Understood...that is just "happens". No big "bang" per se..i just happens.
I had been living for ME...for a while...SHE really did not matter. It did not matter if she called, texted, didn't call, didn't text. I really was just busy putting myself back together that i never gave her much thought anymore.
I am not sure if this helps.
Finally, just wondering...are you the same Portia from years ago. I believe you were pregnant at the time of the bomb drop. Are you that same Portia?
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
