Be kind, rewind #39

[mishka422]

You stay safe! That looks brutal!

[kat727]

An extra inch of snow on top of the mess we already have.

I asked my ex if he would try to speak with S18 to see if he can help with college or tech school plans. He isn't telling me anything but of course I need to help pay in some way. It has been so difficult to get him to understand I need to know so I can plan myself.

Ex says sure he will talk to him but it is up to S18 to open up. He needs to be coming to him. No one needs to remind me how different he is than the boy I married. He starts going on about how s18 is an adult now and needs to find his own way. Useless! Totally useless I must say. No need for me to look to him to help with parenting duties.

kat

[kat727]

Oh I mentioned that he is still a kid just as S21. That they have mistakes to make of course but it is also my job as a parent to show what truly is possible in their lives. I don't want them to believe that right now is the best there is.

It is sad that S21's best friend, who is really poor, believes the best there could be is someone to love, an apartment and living paycheck to paycheck. This kid is stuck with a 20000 hospital bill that he will be paying for most of his adult life. I tried to raise money for him and got a whopping $20.00. I am thoroughly let down.

I want so much more for my kids and yes, even for S21's friend.

kat

[karen43]

Kat, I can relate. You know my X makes a good living and is not helping S with college expenses at all even though he's declaring him on his taxes; he has him living with him half the year that's it. I just have learned to live with that's who X is a dad. You just have to let go; I do what I can to help S and I do my best job as a mom; there's nothing you can do about what kind of job your X does as a dad. Your X has never been the type to win "dad of the year" and is most likely never going to...luckily you are the mom of the year every time....

[kat727]

Ex does help with school costs even though he isn't required to per our decree. He just isn't there to be a parent, to help guide and shape them.

The money issues are trying to get the kids to see what might be possible and to help them get there. I don't want them to just settle and think paycheck to paycheck is the way to live . There is more potential there.

kat

[mishka422]

You mean you aren't supposed to live paycheck to paycheck?? Dang! I've been doing it all wrong all of these years???

Sorry, had to insert a little levity.

Kat, you are certainly one of the most thoughtful, forward thinking moms EVER and that can't help but rub off on your kids. Keep plugging along the way you are and sharing your thoughts and ideas with them. They will get it.

[kat727]

Thanks Mish. I hope they get it. I hope they remember these times together later with fondness.

I have always tried to plan ahead. Doesn't always turn out the way I thought but it feels good to know I "got this"! I don't like to plan when traveling too much though. I don't usually make a hotel reservation, just stop where and when I want. I guess I am a pretty decent mix of planning and spontaneity . Now just to find someone that is cool with that! Lol

kat

[Underdog]

Kat, no matter what your idiot XH does, your kids hit the jackpot by having you for their mom. You're a good egg.

[kat727]

You guys say that alot...I just wish I fully believed it. . But if they gave awards for trying, I would indeed be in the race.

I don't remember growing up and having my parents tell me that I really could do anything but maybe I wasn't listening. I drive myself so much that was all I really needed.

kat

[kat727]

I had another hypnotherapy session last night. It was incredibly intense but also showed me a lesson. It really threw me for a loop. I have felt really wiped out after. Nothing like bringing your subconscious forward!

Tonight I went to most of the kids teachers for parent teacher conferences. I get worn out running all over our three story high school. This is the last year I have to run to two schools, I am beat!

kat