I feel like I am in limbo

[JDM]

Okay, so crazy weekend. Things came to a head last night. I had posted that the OM had pushed her to make a decision and then he also backed away telling her he did not want to influence her decision. I felt that would maybe make him look like the hero because he was pulling away. Well so yesterday we go out to a late lunch, walk around the mall, and then to a movie. All goes okay until we get home and get ready for bed. I can tell she feels hesitant so we talk about our current situation and our relationship in the bedroom. Where she tells me again she still does not really have those types of feelings for me. I ask if she has been able to not keep in touch with OM like she had planned this past 4-5 days. She says no. Well something inside me could not take it. I could not hold back my emotions and some tears started, and I tell her I can no longer live like this and share her with someone else, and maybe she should just go to him. I did not want to live in limbo any longer and that I felt that I had given her enough time to decide. She said she did not want to loose me, or her family, and our 20 year marriage, and she was going to end the relationship and give me her phone. Well she tried to call him and text him with no answer. Now we start to get on the roller coaster of emotions. I end up leaving to go for a drive. Today she asks what I want to do to move forward with D or work it out. I say you know what I want what do you want? She says she is going to end relationship today with OM at 4:30PM when he get off work and I can listen to the conversation. Well did not happen she was on phone with her sister. She comes in and says she is still ending relationship but wants to do it alone because she is going to be very emotional. I told her this morning that my condition on moving forward was zero future contact or I would have to walk away and she said she would have to do the same. I don't know if I should believe her or not. She has blocked his number on her cell, and told me to do the same on the home phone, and to get caller id, and to feel free to check the phone records. I want to be happy, but I am afraid to let my guard down. She wants to go back to MC and a sex therapist also. Any advise would be much appreciated.
Thanks,
JDM