Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

Thanks KGirl,

My W says we are "done".

We don't talk at all except for bills and when we talk about bills and something else sneaks in there she is pretty quick to give me a "shot" or find negativity in anything I do.

I have learned to let it roll off my back and attempt as much as possible to empathize and validate.

In a very twisted way, I think not talking but living under the same roof has actually helped me. I have been able to do 180's that the W can see. I have been able to be more action oriented and less "wordy". This is a forced 180 because I am a very talkative person. This experience has taught me that that is not always a good thing.

I find it much easier to GAL from my own home vs staying at my parents.

The W made a comment the other day when we were discussing lowering the cable bill. She said I don't watch TV because I am a prisoner in my(our old) bedroom. I told her but you have a TV in there.

I see signs of frustration in her body language. I am just guessing that me being here is allowing (she doesn't want to IMHO)her to see that I have accepted this sitch in a sense and it is not bothering me(outwardly) as much as expected.

The only thing I am not doing is moving or acting like I am moving toward D.

She made the comment when I first moved back that why don't I file. I have all the money. I said no that is up to you. She said but it is difficult to do by yourself. I said so is wanting to work on a M but I am finding it to be an eye-opening experience.

So if my W would come across and confront me about the books, she knows I am in IMC, I will tell her it was recommended reading and TBH it is very good and it will help me as a person down the line as I look to my future(meaning hopefully with W) relationships.

I cant control her feelings at all. I can only validate. She is responsible for her happiness.

I do like your idea that if we were to R that it is a very good book to read together.

Oh, one more thing my W LL is quality time. Just my luck, I am more than ready to listen and do all those things. It is really hard when there is no conversation. So I am working on W secondary LL and that is before I even knew it was a LL. Acts of service, it is going pretty well and she doesn't know it but she is working on my secondary LL by default.