Afraid I have waited too long

[KGirl]

I'm not sure exactly where your W is in terms of interest in working on the relationship or not based on your recent posts... I'm not a vet by any means, but I'll share my experience. I pressured my H to read a Gottman book at the beginning of all this when he was pretty clear that he was unhappy and was done, didn't think anything would change, etc. He just used the book to further justify why we shouldn't be together - "All of the examples where he predicts divorce are just like us, the warning signs have already come, there's no hope" etc. So, if your W is in a place where she has not voiced intent to try and work on the relationship, my concern is that if she spots books or "happens to find them", that she may see it as some kind of tactic, or even if she does read them, she may focus on the negatives and use them to justify her stance. If you were to R or be actively moving in that direction, then I do see 5LL as very helpful! I found it helpful personally just to identify where I didn't meet my H's needs and have been trying to incorporate when appropriate.