separated 8 weeks still on the journey

[paul19510]

MamaB : You friend sounds like an excellent resource and sounding board for you. I'm glad you have her in your life. What she said about your D "
thanks she is! My buddy married a really good person. She's a wonderful woman and he's lucky to have her as his W.

labug : "Yes your friend is wise.

In my experience forcing someone to be "respectful" doesn't make them be respectful in the true sense of the word.

I would guess that your D has lost some respect for her mother, wouldn't you? Her mother will have to earn that back."

yes I agree, Bug. I need to validate my D in this case and let her know that I've slept on it and she just needs to speak in a respectful tones and not swear and stuff, but she is definitely not "wrong" to feel the way she does. My W needs to fix whatever she broke.

Paul, I wanted to copy a post that gabbysmom23 posted on my thread yesterday, as I think you might find it helpful.

Melissa

And FWIW, " normal" people do not do as much self reflection and work as we do here. And at some point we do get a little too hard on ourselves, and our sitches cause us to question everything.

You probably really don't trust your thoughts anymore. It's true. But you recognize that. That's the first step. You'll do fine. This isn't work we do overnight. It's long term stuff."

thank you for reminding me of this. I just had a long chat with friend's W again while doing the grocery shopping. I feel better now. She reminded me of the same thing.

thank you to each of you for looking on me. I am reminded bug of what you said. my emotions are all over the place.

W continues to say, "I don't know" when asked about R. I want to hope and that gives me just enough to stay stuck. Its time for me to take more control of myself and move myself forward from this place emotionally and otherwise.

When you look at the facts as of today, W planned to move from Oct forward and started cleaning out things to get organized even b4 we had a R heart to heart in November. its almost 4 months from Oct and W still parks and driveway and won't come in the house. W will not engage me in any meaningful way about the M and has distanced herself from me and the kids. W knows more of what she wants than she's saying. She just doesn't want to say it. This is my opinion. I'm thinking that my W wants to be out, but wants to be able to reverse course if she guessed wrong and can't handle being out for some reason.