You are losing everything because of your reaction to her actions...You are letting her actions govern your behavior. She isn't making you do a thing....YOU are doing it!! Own your actions.
Did you log the call like I mentioned?....You need to do it. This part of DB is business!!! Handle it as such. You live in different areas and if it gets to it....Your custody arrangement will be very important. While you cannot control if your wife let's you talk with your daughter right now....You need it documented that she isn't letting you talk to her. This is IMPORTANT stuff....She is setting a precedence and without the documentation...In court it is he said/she said and that always ends badly.
By the way.....You haven't even started fighting. Fighting for YOURSELF that is.
Tired of the lies...She told you she was with the OM....She told you she was introducing him to her friends. That isn't lying, that is her cold hearted truth!!! Next time DO NOT let the conversation get to that point...Once you knew that you weren't going to talk with your daughter, the call needed to end. Why did you put yourself through the pain of listening to that? You let it happen!
I know. I messed up. I let her do all this to me. I allow her control the conversation. I've decided to cut my cell phone off to control the calls. I'm keeping up with the call logs. I got the nanny phone number last night and spoke to my daughter for maybe a second this morning. She called me but I ignored her call. I know this's difficult but I'll pull through this at the end.
I went out yesterday but everything around me remind me of her. It was all a mess. I got home late but no sleep. I just don't get it. Why will she chose this this young guy over me after giving her everything for 9yrs. Her mom called me yesterday, but it was a set up. I haven't spoken to that woman since this while situation started. I reach out to her at the early stage, but she ignore my phone call.
For your own sanity and health, you must stop all contact with her and her family. Tell her not to contact you unless it is about your child. Cut the contacting, at least for a period of time (if you can't bear the thought of anything longer).
You do not need to know what she does every day! The more you know about it, the worse it affects you. Don't listen to it. She can't tell you...if you won't give her (or others) the chance.
Okay, so she is a bi!ch and uses you to get all the money she can wring out of you. Her family has used you for money! She and her family are not what they ought to be. But if they are nothing but scum of the earth........you can't change how they are. What can you change? Who can you control????
Stop sitting around asking yourself " how could she be so mean" and expecting her family to show signs of compassion. Clearly, they will give their support to her......regardless of her terrible conduct. Separate yourself from them, and stop other friends when they start to discuss your W and your M.
People here on the board can be your support system. Others who are going through similar situations...or who have gone through what you feel, can give you support. Friends and family do not give unbiased advice, but the DB board can.
It is up to you if you roll over and die........or stand up and fight to survive and thrive for a better future for YOU. Cut her off. Don't listen to her talk on the phone. You can control that part.....if you really want to. Stop giving her financial support!!!! Stop allowing her to use you.
You can choose to be a pitiful victim, or you can be a strong survivor! There is a big difference in the mentality of victim & survivor. You didn't get to pick what happened, but you can pick how you will deal with it.
You said you were suspended from work. Does that mean you will be able to return?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks a lot for the advice Eric. I'm from South Africa, while my wife is from here. She live up north with my daughter, It's more like 12hrs drive. I fly down there every month to see her and my daughter. I told her I'll Move at the begging of all this, but she said no need since her contract end in few month. Not knowing she plan on doing whatever and throwing away her marriage in the process.
Thanks for the advice. I was suspended for couple of reasons. I walked out couple of times while attending to my patient. I wasn't thinking, I got emotional and went outside to get myself together. I also wrote her name and some other stuff on my note. Big mistake! I was suspended for 4month. My job require a letter from our marriage C. She's not willing to do that now. She said not until She finished with OM, nothing like marriage C. I just don't understand how somebody will take and take without no conscience.
I'm more concern about my daughter than anything. The kind of crap she's exposing her to. juggling her from different babysitter multiple times a week to spend time with OM. I forget to tell you guys that she once dated a married man. She claim the guy was separated, but the wife came yelling at her at restaurant with the guy. I still love this woman, but I think I married the wrong woman. I'm confused about everything.
She called multiple times and said its important we talk. So I pick up the phone and she drop the bomb. She said she want end to our marriage and want to be with this guy. She said she hate treating me the way she has being treating me for the past two month and just want us to be friend. She said she's choosing this guy over me and want to see were the relationship will go. She said there's nothing I can do to change her mind but to move on with my life. My marriage is over. I don't know what to do anymore. I asked her when she's filling and she said she don't know yet but will inform me before filling. What can I do from here? Any suggestion? Any honest advice? She try to blame the whole thing on me because I told her sister she's having sex with another man while married. I think that's BS! I'm not sure if she saying this just to get me off her back while she spend more time with this guy. She said she not happy and just want out of the marriage.
Love [censored]. Love hurt. No new update than marrige is over. Not sure if this's part her mof game to leave her and OM alone. But she said she want out. I'm tired. No one should have to go through all this pain for being a good man. I strongly advice people not to get married or give there heart out to anybody. I'm constantly reminded of all we share. Family time, out lovely daughter. Picture of her first Halloween all around the house. Vacation with mummy and daddy. I know life goes on but I wasn't expecting all this headache at this time of life. Everything was liking good. New house almost complete. Anivesarry coming up soon. I was getting ready to buy her my birth stone with a special mounting. Her car for our 9yrs anivesarry was already bought. I was looking for dinner and maybe get lucky later on to have our second child. She chose him over me. 25yrs boy with 3 roommate in a apartment. Compare that with a man that gave her 4 thousand square foot and currently building another in a great neighhood. I've come along way friends. From nothing to something. All that is about to go out of the door because of my wife. I'm not giving up but tired of fighting. Any suggestion from somebody out there. I'm not giving up but I definitely know something is not right.
