I live near the coast. I'm like two minutes from the bay near Atlantic City. We only have a few species like blues, stripers, and fluke. We have some nice crabs too. I had saved 10k to buy a new boat. It had a Yamaha 50 cc engine 18 footer, but had to spend the money on the D . We have tons of lakes too but I don't really like fresh water fishing. I can't wait till March rolls in gonna fish my brains out. Something to look forward too.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
We went to court. There was an aspect of the D that was much like our Marriage. The Judge, like the Pastor admonished X to speak up. Afterward my sister and I spent an hour or so at a coffee shop making small talk. Most of that day like my father’s funeral seemed surreal and is a distant faint memory.
Feel what you feel and grieve. It does get better. Remember that everyone is breathing and no one is bleeding. Keep the loss in perspective. It does get better. You will be happy again so get out and do.
I don’t fish myself, but I understand Walleye put up an exciting fight and Perch taste better. My nieces grew up fishing with their Dad after his D and still love to do so.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I was thinking of posting on facebook that my divorce was final, but decided against it. I didn't want my older daughters to read any negative comments about their Mom, or see people congratulating me. I decided it was something to keep private.
I called and messaged several friends/family to let them know. I had lengthy phone conversation with my sister, Dad, and MIL. What really surprised me is that my college girlfriend contacted me and we spent a while messaging on facebook. Toward the end of the conversation she sent me this gem:
"I am sorry for the way I treated you years ago. I was pretty messed up. You deserves to be treated better back then. I hope you can forgive me. It is years later... But necessary!"
I think we stopped dating in 1990 (I graduated college in 1991). 24 years later, after hearing about my divorce, she felt the need to apologize.
My ex called me this morning to complain that I am not doing a good enough job keeping up with D6's homework.
I actually hung up on her. I just find it so offensive to be lectured about my parenting from a mother who sees her kids a total of 2 hrs on Sunday night.
The worst part is the constant threats. This time, she said that if I don't parent to her standard, she is going to take me to court for full custody, get a nanny and make me pay for it.
Seriously? Because, I didn't sign off on the daily reading checklist for my 6 yr old? She is in first grade, I read to her every night, she reads to me. Her reading is fine.
I am tired of the constant lectures and threats. I don't know why I answer the phone anymore.
Rock, voice-mail is your friend, let it go and check it later, also be sure to communicate with the teachers, get to know them it helps, it may seem silly to sign the book but it is just part of it now, you sound like you are trying hard to be a great dad to your little girl, that is REALLY important, she needs her fathers love.
I have to believe that "that" moment is probably burnt into each of our memories. I decided to go to the mountains with some friends the week after mediation, knowing that the papers would be signed the following week. I remember reading the email, short and to the point... the judge signed the decree dated today..
that was 3 yrs ago, things do get easier and better, but be ready for a long haul
As everyone on here has said it does get better...with time.
The more distance you but between you and your XW, the better you will feel.
If your XW is unable to communicate effectively, then the only thing that YOU can do for YOU is to have very clear boundaries.
Peace, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
More conflict with Ex. I dropped the kids off at her house tonight and she lectured me about D14's grades. She wants to know what I am going to do about it.
It is probably a reasonable question, but she states it in such a condescending manner that it really grates on me. She is D14's parent too, what is she going to do about it? Oh, I forgot, her work is more important, this will have to be my problem. Her role is simply to oversee and criticize.
My family is such a dysfunctional mess. I know this is all new, and I hope we can settle into a better routine. D14 is planning on going to New York for spring break with the school choir/band. Tomorrow, I am going to sit down with her and explain that if the grades don't come up, she is not going to be going.
It looks like a really fun trip. I want her to be able to go, but she needs to take school seriously.
Hey, Rock, sounds like a good plan to me. And email is a good idea too. I've done the same and it has helped immensely. I never comment on X's parenting mistakes, and he should not comment on mine...we all make them sometimes...and as our kids get older they need to become more responsible for themselves anyway....
Thanks Karen, When it comes to parenting, I am learning to not look at them as "Mistakes". I am a work in progress and doing the best I can, which is far from perfect.
Like my marriage, I sometimes wish I could start over as a parent with the wisdom I have gained over the years. I figure by the time the 3rd is through high school, I will have it figured out.
Then I will be in a perfect position to provide endless guidance as a grandparent.
. We have tons of lakes too but I don't really like fresh water fishing. I can't wait till March rolls in gonna fish my brains out. Something to look forward too.