Are you a fool? Honestly...Are you a fool? Who cares what other people think....In reality the only person who probably thinks you are a fool is yourself!!! So I ask again...are you a fool?
What I also think you are completely missing....Is that DB techniques are for you and the extremely slim possibility of saving your marriage. I can guarantee you....that if you stop DB'ing now...in the state you are in....It will cost you a lot more in the long run than DB'ing will cost you right now!!!!
Level of dishonesty and disrespect....She lives in another state and has been honest she is having an affair. The problem isn't her behavior, it is how you are reacting to it and taking as a personal affront to you. If you were shutting her out....Keeping things purely about you and your daughter then there wouldn't be any dishonesty or disrespect....But from your last post I get the feeling you talked with the wife again.
Are you done? Really done? I thought you were going to stick it out for a while......See Lost, I am a goal oriented type guy. To quit now just because things are tough....Now that would be disrespectful to myself if I was in your shoes....and also tell me how weak of a man I am. Now that is me....maybe you are just different.
Remember I told you about the business side of things....Well here is a good example. You need DB'ing techniques to deal with the business side of things. Did you make a log of what date, time, phone called from, phone call to, and that your call to your daughter was rejected because (including a comment/brief conversation synopsis) the wife was with the OM. You need to be calm and get this stuff documented clearly. If your wife clearly stated that you could not talk with your daughter because she (wife) was talking to or with the OM....That is wrong!!! You need to documentation to back that up. If nothing else...continue to DB so that we can help you be calm in dealing with this situation.
As for my EX....I threw her out 1.5 years ago. Remember I said there is only a slim chance of saving the marriage....Slim. That said, I would not change what I did or DB'ing at all. DB'ing helped me change so much about myself that I no longer can bear to remember the weak a@@ man I was.....Your world is how you perceive it, How you live it, Your values, Your Principles, and Your integrity. Through DB'ing you will get to place were you TRULY control those things again. Right now you do not....Your wife is controlling them.
It takes pain, hard work, and a lot of other stuff to get through this....You can take the easy road and pay for it the rest of your life....Or you can do the work and reap the rewards!!! The choice is yours....Yours alone!
