Four weeks in, hopeful but just starting!

[KGirl]

Thinking this evening about my support network, and it feels lonely to say it really only consists of one friend, my IC (who I haven't seen in 3 weeks... should probably get back into that), and this message board, along with all the books I've been reading. My mom and sister came to town today to go out to lunch and shopping, and my mom just says the craziest things. I basically had to tell her I just can't talk with you about this anymore. She goes from forgetting what I've told her before ("why didn't you invite H to lunch?" "Mom, he said he wants a divorce, I'm not inviting him to lunch" "he didn't really say that, did he?" "well, he said he doesn't want to be married to me anymore, so yes, he did.") to attempting to fix things for me ("why don't you ask him on a date? that would help. And make sure to get him a birthday present") to making jokes ("you didn't do his laundry for him before? well no wonder... just kidding"). His birthday is on March 5 and I can't think that far ahead right now, much less deal with her comments. So, crossing her off the list of people who will be supportive, as well as my "just confront him and get rid of him" friend.

Will work on my personal goals as well as things that are in my control that will help me be less fearful of the situation (like visit an L to know what my options are re: moving out and the mortgage, etc.) so that I don't have to be anxious about the unknown. H is fluctuating today between things like asking about my trip out w/ my mom and how it was, to saying things like "I have to catch up on [tv show] eventually but I probably won't be watching it with you since I have to get through [other tv show] first" completely nonchalantly, whatever that exactly is supposed to mean, but something about how I won't be around I guess. But I guess they all fall under the category of "friendly", which is what he wants to be anyways - just friends. *sigh*