Me 15 months on - standing - detaching

[hotwheelsaust]

Just an update.
Third date tomorrow, a full day out bushwalking, picnic and country shops.
The lovely lady is making up a picnic lunch, I am bringing chocolates for desert and we are going to discuss where we are heading (mutual decision).
I have learnt so much from DB, and it is great using those ideals daily, without most times thinking if it is right or wrong.
While it might only be the 3rd date, we have spent many hours chatting on the phone over the last week or so.
It has to determine whether dropping the rope allowed me to show and become interested in someone, or whether meeting someone has allowed me to drop the rope easier.
Whichever, I feel a heck of a lot better that I was only weeks ago. I feel alive again. Enjoying each day and looking forward to the next day.
I have reached that point, where truthfully I could not answer whether I would want my W back again. I just feel that she has hurt me so much, that no matter how much work we both did, I don't think I would feel the same towards her. Then on top of that, her new (horrible) personality, ignoring the friends, the lack of real motherly care and concern for her sons. Also the way she treated her s21 and myself over his 21st and then engagement.
I have decided that I am moving ahead with this new lady. I will be putting all my effort into a good healthy relationship with her, but also keeping in the back of my mind the things I need to work on about me and with that us.
I won't be telling my sons, until the time comes that I know it has reached that "looks like it is going very well and going long term" time.
In the meantime, I will continue to text the W every so often, as per Wonka's suggestions. Also I am comfortable about doing this. I will reply to her if and when she texts me.
It is just so much easier for me and my health to not worry about her now. Not to worry about what she is up to, who she is with, or what weird thing she is doing or done. I don't need to check with the family what she has been doing, and that is such a huge weight off my shoulders.
I am happy. I am moving on. I am accepting I no longer have any control what the W does or why she does it. I really don't care what she does anymore. She has made her choice over 15 months ago, and really she hasn't waivered one bit. Now it is my turn to make my choice, and that is to move on and see where this new relationship might end up.

I will continue to post, just don't know how often.
I will inform all how the DIL 21st goes, that is only two weeks away. And no, the new friend will not be coming. As much as she loves camping and would be in her element there. I also would think it is disrespecting my son, his fiance, my youngest son, the W's family and friends. There will be a better time to introduce her.