Lets start off with the easy answers first. My D is 10 years old and would like to see me more during the week and so would my 14 year old step son. I try to text or talk to them as much as possible but as you know life gets in the way. I know both of them miss me because they say it every time I see them or talk to them, but W is only thinking of herself right now. As to my D seeing me during the week, the W has no problem with me seeing the kids any time I want but once again life sometimes throws a clunker into the mix. I live about 1/2 hour away from the rest of the family. The reason I chose this location is as follows 1. Both my W and I are in education; we both completed both our B.S. and Masters during the marriage while working full time and raising 3 kids. My W got her own classroom while I am still subbing at a couple of different wages. This I feel was one of the reasons why she decided to go "have fun", since W feels she has earned it and wants to "enjoy Life". To conclude the first reason I based my location to live on the lowest hourly rate I make. 2. I've always wanted to live in this location since I've been coming to this area for the last 20 years. 3. The W wanted me to live closer (5 minutes away) but I didn't do this for 2 reasons; first there wasn't anything available at the time of the decided move out date. Second I couldn't deal with living so close to the family without being able to see them as much as I'd like.
Back to the above topics W got "mad" at me for moving to far away saying that she found a place a few miles away, but it wasn't available before my move out date. She also got made at me for signing a 1 year lease instead of a 6 month lease. This raises questions that I have yet to answer.
On to the questions/ problems that lead to the separation. During the last 7-9 months of the marriage things were getting pretty bad. I would do something and W would call me on it, this included yelling and trying to prove why her way was the right way. This went on until I quit doing things so I wouldn't get yelled at or spoken to like I was another kid. In turn the communication stopped. As you know this is the beginning of the end. We still had fun going out by ourselves but when it came to parenting we had different values. She wanted to try MC but I was against it. My reasoning at the time was I didn't know enough about it and felt that an individual who didn't know us as a couple couldn't help, boy was I wrong. At the present time I have read and learned a lot more about MC and am willing and ready to give it a try. W is "mad" that I waited until now to try MC.
The reason why I said that I was selfish and placed myself first some of the time was that I did. If I didn't want to do something I didn't take others thoughts or enjoyment into consideration. An example would be camping. I like to go hiking but don't enjoy setting up a tent at night; bad back hate sleeping on hard surfaces. I never thought that others would enjoy it, I probably could of dealt with it. Also being an only child I seldom had to think of other peoples feelings or thoughts. When I got married I guess at times I never placed other peoples feelings into the equation.
