Still loves me but not in love with me. Still has no time for me and doesn't want to make it. Still deflects with excuse after excuse.
... I have nothing else to interest her.
2S2Q these words are really ringing true in my sitch as well. At times its almost more painful to have someone interested-but-not-committed than to have no interest from them at all. I know we shouldn't allow our spouses to affect our self esteem but it hurts to be wanted sometimes and not others. Its hard not to think 'what's so wrong with me that even when things are going well and I'm being my best self this person doesn't WANT to be home with me every night?'
For me, right now I am stepping away from my H to spend time around people who WANT to be around me. He could never find time for me but now has all the time in the world to have our 5 month old son for visitation. Instead of focusing on how painful it will be to lose time with my son, I'm focusing on how to use the time our baby is with him to meet some new friends and build up my support network.
(And as an aside, I'm happy he has time for our son. It thrills me that his son is important to him. Its just hard to swallow that he can use the 'busy working' excuse for 5 months and then snap his fingers and be free to have our son immediately after we separate.)
At any rate, I just wanted to say thank you for posting. It is always nice to feel like others are going through similar things.
BD: Aug 2012 Separated since May 2013 S born Aug 2013 Aug 2013 H agrees to consider 'baby steps toward working things out' H is/was actively seeing someone?
Its hard not to think 'what's so wrong with me that even when things are going well and I'm being my best self this person doesn't WANT to be home with me every night?'
I hear that. There is no one else in this world I spent so much energy on trying to make her happy and support in her endeavors. You'd think that in 14 years of legitimately trying to be a good husband I'd have done at least one thing to earn her affections...but no (how good I actually was, I guess not good at all but I *was* trying). Her friends? Well they're just so amazing she'll leave me to be single and childless like them.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
