WAW Said She's Done, III Realization setting in

[OneDay]

My mind has been all over the place lately and I apologize in advance that this post is a mess. Just trying it get it all out.

I have a women, that use to be my wife, who is currently living at my home. One day (not very long ago) We were a Husband and Wife who showed affection, cared about and enjoyed each others company. Then, literally overnight, my wife completely turned her affection and emotions toward me off. I am still struggling with this in my head. How can someone (a spouse) do this?

Im finding myself in a very strange place in my journey. I look at my WAW differently and she looks at me differently. Not in a bad way or even negative light, just different. We have actually been getting along very well, almost like Friends. Not that this is a bad thing, but I want to be more than friends.

For the most part my WAW has seemed a bit more curious about me, my day, and my feelings. Mostly just friendly conversation. Then the other night she said your acting weird, or weirder than normal, or are you depressed? I replied back with Im fine, just listening to this podcast and catching up on a few things. I really hope im not coming across as weird. Im trying to be positive, happy, friendly etc. IDK, probably shouldn't worry about it.

Another thing. How am I suppose to give her space, while living together? We have 1200 sqft home with 2 kids and 2 dogs. I dont pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or implore, Im quite at home and when we do talk I try to keep it fairly short, but nice. I dont call, text, or have R talk. I go on bike rides, hang out with kids, or read/listen to podcasts in my room. She works later now, and most nights we don't see each other until 9ish. I do kind of avoid her, but not overly, I just keep to myself.

Any help would be nice. Thanks everyone.

[OneDay]

I really miss my wife. I hope she will change her mind and give us another chance. It doesn't seem like it's going to happen anytime soon and I'm not sure how long I can wait. I hope we can remain a family and that my sweet boys will never have to worry about what's going to happen to mom and dad. They don't deserve this and it hurts me so much to think of the pain they will go through if we get a divorce.

[FloydMan]

She is taking notice of you. That may be a good thing. The fact you are getting along is good. No matter what happens with the M, a war is definitely the wrong way to go.
Keep giving her space. Keep doing what you're doing...she seems curious. Parting homes, I think is wrong if you are at least getting along. You are doing well pal.

[OneDay]

Thanks floyd. It did seem things were going good until today. I must be an idiot. Sure she's being nice to me. Im still there for her, to help out with everything.

UPDATE:
I found out today that she is still proceeding with the Divorce and seems perfectly content with her decision. This of course made my heart sink into my stomach. I really thought we were making some progress, and she might have a slight change of heart, but I guess not. I spoke with my lawyer and we have a court conference the end of this month, which is just to determine the direction of the case. Then the next step is mediation which should take place within the next month or 2. :-( Talk about a punch to the gut.

I feel this relationship (or whats left of it) is sliding away so fast. Within the next 2 months it could be all over. What makes my head spin, is that there are moments when Im with WAW that feel perfectly normal and natural. I want to ask her "why are we getting a divorce?" I dont ask, but I want to.

One more thing that has been bothering me. Hopefully you guys can chime in. My S7 has a playoff b-ball game tomorrow morning, which I will be taking him too (like I always do) WAW has to work.

SO, This morning everyone was getting ready for school and work. Out of no where WAW asked me If I could put S7 baseball bag by the door before she gets home from work today.
-Me- Uh Um I guess I could
-WAW- I dont want to do it later
-Me- Im not really worried if its out or not, and why does it have to be there before you get home from work?
-WAW- Im trying to "Help You" out so you wont be stressed in the morning.
-ME- Okay, thanks but I'll be ok. I've taken them to every game this year.
-WAW- OF COURSE YOU WILL, Typical you
-ME- What is that suppose to mean.
-WAW- Im working 9 hours today, then im taking the boys to a friends as soon as I get home, and I was just hoping you could have the boys shoes on and the bag by the door so I dont have to do it later.
-ME- I still dont understand how the bag is going to help anything. I am perfectly capable of getting everyone ready as I've been doing for the entire year. I beginning to feel that you think Im incapable of handling this.
-WAW- OF COURSE YOU DONT, BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS HAD EVERYTHING READY, the uniforms, water, snacks, bat bags, etc.

I finally put my hand on her shoulder and said, Im dont want to make you mad or argue here. Im trying to communicate with you. I understand what your saying and I want you to know that I can and will handle this. It may not be on your time, but everyone will be ready and taken care of. She shook her head and said I hope so, but I know the way you are. I then said we will be fine, I am perfectly capable of this, please dont worry.

She was all over the place. I guess I was suppose to be a mind reader and knew what other plans she had for the night. This happens all the time between her and I. It always has.

I kind of want to talk about this more tonight, but not sure if thats a good idea. Should I have a further discussion with WAW about this topic?

[tough spot]

It is difficult giving space while living with the WAW. I sometimes wonder if it would be better living apart, at least concerning the concept of giving the WAW space. How can she possibly start to 'miss me' when i am always there! However, I guess they get a front row seat to any changes from GAL'ing/DB'ing.


Tonight I will be skipping dinner. MIL has bought us dinner every Friday night at the same resturant for the past 7 years. It just feels too akward for me anymore. Sitting there, not really talking to my wife, suspecting she wishes I wasn't really there.

The kids are there but half the time I am fighting back tears at the situation. I bet, when I don't go tonight....she won't even ask me about it when she gets home. That is the state of our existance right now OneDay.........

[tough spot]

She got home and never mentioned or inquired why I wasn't at dinner. Then she and my 21D said they were going out....I said bye.

[OneDay]

I'm trying to detach. Must detach. It's hard. But have to detach. She's detached. I must detach. Just detach. Come on do it. Detach. Detach detach.

Still open to any advise on my post above. Please anyone. Maybe I should just let it go

[makingmagic]

HI OneDay... sounds to me like you said what needed to be said. AND.. you said it very well. I wish I could speak clearly like that.

If I were you... let it go... sounds perfectly understood!

Good luck, Magic!

[FloydMan]

Yes, detach. It is the hardest thing we know. It is a must. However, you have you and your babies which will never be detached.
Wish I could give you advice on the above but it is very similar interaction to what I went through and could not resolve it.
Hope someone else can pipe in with thoughts for you on it.
Love ya man. Stay the course. You are stronger than you believe.

[OneDay]

I swear, nothing I do is right or good in WAW eyes. One minute everything seems fine and she seem nice/friendly. Then then next minute she is mad/frustrated with me about something. She will find something that I've done, did or didn't do, or say, or whatever and turn it around like im this horrible monster.

I've actually been a little short with her lately. This is getting hard to take and Im feeling very angry towards her. She comes across as so controlling and wants things done on her time frame. Im really getting sick of it and trying to remain patient.