Won't stop affair. Want divorce now.

[sandi2]

I am so, so sorry for your pain. I hope you will take the advice to consult a DB coach b/c they are trained to guide you through this terrible time. Also, read Divorce Remdy by Michele Warner Davis. In addition, there is a lot of her advice on youtube.

I don't know if your M can survive what your W is doing. You cannot make her love you if she chooses otherwise. And I think once you can clear your head a little, you will realize you want and deserve to have a wife that loves you. She may not be that person. But that is not for anyone to decide but you.

I would encourage you to find out your rights as a father in the state where you live, and where she lives (if different). This does not mean you are filing for a divorce. But whatever your W does or doesn't do, you will want full rights to your child. Know your options. Be prepared by getting information. Protect yourself and your child.

It is extremely difficult to maintain a healthy MR when it is long distant.........and when it is over a long period of time. A couple has to spend time together and nourish the M. Even with you being as supportive as you were throughout the trying times, she was still unfaithful. You may never know when she started to slide over that line on some emotional level, before she ever cheated physically. But now she has, and she has told you flat out that she will not stop having sex with the OM.......until the A runs it's course?

Okay, so let me pick up at that point. If a woman is a WAW who is having an affair thinks her H is hanging around "waiting" until the A is over..........she will not be attracted to him b/c she won't respect him as a man. For a woman, she has to first respect you as man before she can be sexually attracted to you. Now, in affairs, it gets all messed up. She s acting out of something else, but it feels good and she doesn't want that good feeling to stop. She gets addicted really fast and then she will sacrifice her M just to be with that good feeling.

So, this is not the same girl you fell in love with and married. She has changed. Maybe some day the two of you will find your way back together, but if so, it will not be with you crying and begging her not to leave you. Understand? Acting clingy and needy is not attractive on any man, and it will not.........WILL NOT warm her heart or cause her to end her affair!

So first thing you have to do is step back and then leave her alone. Don't contact her Nd don't be available to her.

Btw, if you talk to a DB coach, be sure you tell them that she refused to end the A.