My H is definitely cake eating. My concern is that my H continues to tell me that I pushed him away during our M and that he is worried I will do the same. If I dont get what I want emotionally from him, H says that I shut him out. I admit that it is true. My concern is that if I continue to do that now, I am showing him more of the same. I guess I dont know how to find a balance.
First of all....be weary of anything a WAS says. They rewrite, twist, just about anything to support their view and actions.
Your statement reads very much like you are taking ownership of your husbands feelings. Those are his....So honestly...if you look in the mirror can you say to yourself that you pushed him away? That you shut him out? Honestly!!!...is that the truth.
One of the hardest parts of this journey is looking into the mirror....truly judging yourself. Owning what is TRULY your part of the current situation. Now I am not saying that anything you did warranted the H running to OW. Just that some of what is now was caused by what was....and what was is 50% yours.
I will share though that changing because a WAS pointed out things in you doesn't help....changing to make them happy does not work....Now changing to make yourself a better version of your previous self.....becoming a breathtaking woman only a crazy man would leave.....That works.
