My life now....

[ericmsant2]

It has been over a year since I provided an update on my thread….so here goes….

Kids:
Kiddo’s are doing fine! My oldest S20 has enrolled in a trade school in steps of securing a HVAC license. Interesting enough my best friend owns his own HVAC company so Jr. has a fair amount of resources at his disposal. My middle child S18 is enrolled in college. He is taking general studies as he is not sure what he wants to do with his life. Him and his girlfriend have been together for over a year. She is a sweetheart. S18 was thinking about becoming a therapist (“kinda of like you Dad” – ya gotta love him) but is not sure. As for my little one, D12, she is going to be 13 in a few months. So I am now really hitting the teenage years with my daughter. FTR, I have to say….teenage boys are MUCH easier! D12 has been going through what I believe are the normal emotion of a teenager. One minute happy, next minute sad, next minute angry and next minute glad (hey that rhymes). So all in all the kids are doing well! Thank God and amen.

Work:
It has been an interesting year for me professionally. I finally finished up a project to open a satellite office in Tokyo Japan. A very interesting project. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to travel to Tokyo (flew business and first class – can ya say SWEET). I find the Japanese culture so interesting. I now understand why products that come from Japan are built very well. Culturally it is very different than here in the US. The food in Tokyo is to DIE for. Have to say that I best sushi ever. Tokyo for those of you who do not know is world to the largest fish market in the world. Now that the project has ended, I have been tasked with additional project that should keep me busy for a while.

Personal
I still cook and love to make interesting dishes. I am actually going with my GF to an Alton Brown event on Valentine’s day. This will be followed by dinner and drinks at a local restaurant. I am looking forward to the summer so I can get my butt back to the beach and start fishing. For those of you who know me well, I am happy to report that last year I picked up a 2013 Jeep Wrangler. Black. 4 doors. Yep…the jeep is back. Nothing like cruising with the top down and the sun glaring. A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of going to Cape Cod for the first time. I know…I know..It was cold but I picked up a great Groupon deal. Had a great time. I am now looking to find some other hobbies that I may want to pick up. I already like to hike (summer time), cook (year round), go to the beach (summer time), fish (summer), camp (summer)…but I need to find something to do in the winter time. I may try skiing but I know it is quite expensive. So please folks throw out some suggestions….

Relationship:
Many of you who know me off board, know that I am now engaged. Engaged to the women that I described in my preious post as totally HOT(insert picture of huge smile. Our plan was to get married this October on the beach in the Mexican Rivera. We decided to push the wedding out till 2015. We both do not want to assume any more debt and the additional time will help others save up for the trip. Our relationship continues to grow. We have had the normal family integration issue, xw issues and child rearing issues to deal with. I am happy to say though that our ability to communicate is unlike anything I have ever experienced from a personal relationship side. Other than my friends on these boards, she is probably the closes person I know that truly “knows herself”. She is the type that will discuss issues and dig to understand why she feels the way she does. She is aware that I post on the web and think it is great that I am giving back. She really is a doll. Sadly, she does not look as good as Mach in a pink tutu but hey ya can’t have everything.


Divorce Reform
I am a member of a coalition in CT that is pushing divorce reform in CT. I had the privilege to present to a panel of judges and lawyers that was asked to review the current divorce laws and make a recommendation to the judiciary. It was very interesting. Most people were given 3 mins to speak. I was afforded 18 minutes. The panel found my “testimony compelling”. I was asked several question from the panel. I have to say…I was so proud of myself. Funny when I think about it…..had I been asked to speak 2 – 3 years ago, the panel would have gotten from me, what they received from several of the other speakers – ANGER. I myself was amazed out how angry a lot of people can be. I understand that anger is many ways is a good thing – for a time. I just feel like you can’t live there forever and it become clear to me, that a lot of people still do. It was sad. Several of the panel members, walked up to me afterwards and congratulated me. Some of the comments were “well spoken”, “you have some interesting ideas” and my best….”we would like you to come back and speak to the judiciary when we make our recommendation”. When I think about it…I’m still proud of myself. I hope and pray that the panel will make some good recommendations. Divorce is a very complicated issue to deal with. It really is not a one size fits all solution. If anyone needs more details…ask…most of you know how to reach me off board.

No update would be complete without a quick mention of my XW…..

The communication between XW is minimal at best. Her and OM are still together. I have no idea of what is going on in her life and nor does it really matter.

Finally, we say it a lot on these boards….”it gets better in time…if you allow it too”. That is sooo true folks. It really does get better. That is not to say that life is not different…sometimes though different is better! I am now 44 years old…. A bit wiser…a bit more seasoned. What I have learned is that life changes…it ebbs…it flows….it teaches…. Don’t sweat the small stuff and for the big stuff….know that life changes. For those of you who are new…you will get past this. It may suck for a while…but you will grow from this experience!

The people of these boards will push you...they will challenge you...they will press you to be the best person you can be. You may not always like it. You may think that some of us are too hard, that we do not get it. That is far from the truth, the people here, the vets, they come back day after day after day, to give back. To pass on the knowledge...to help strangers through the most difficult time in there lives. They do this why? Ask yourself...why?

My reason....Cause we know the process work! I was changed by it. The change was good! Not easy...but very good. My hope and prayer is that all of us....continue to be the best people we can be. Not perfect. Just our best selves. You will start this for your spouse...you will continue....for yourself.

God Bless,
Eric