I'm not sure that JF actually said that he was done, although I may have missed that...
I think he is just in that place (and all y'all know what I mean here), where he is just tired of dealing with this...
Hopefully, he will awake this morning with a renewed vigor for the subtleties of MLC, and a renewed outlook on what HE needs to do to navigate this maze that is called Mid Life.
So Eric, it may be too early to go through his old threads and find all of the quotes on how he will stand forever, and won't give up. That might be the "next" I'm done : )
Now, JF....
Usually, when one is too focused on the outcome, it draws them into a vortex of self pity and misguided anger.
You will ebb and flow through these fleeting feelings of being done, wait, now I'm not. Oh, I think I am...
Then, Nope, I'm in it for the long haul...F her...I am DONE...I think...
You will realize that YOU can control this through looking into your fears, and realizing that none of this is really about you, it is only directed towards you.
It's hard not to take it personally....right ?
These times, when the venom flows as easily as it has recently, drags YOU back down into the mud-pit. She NEEDS you to be this person so that she can stand up and scream " I told you so". The more that you remain you, the harder she will try.
Chances are, that she is feeling a tremendous amount of guilt over what she is/has done, and she thinks that she needs you to be down on her level. She feels inferior to what you have become, and that bothers her....very much.
In reality, what she really needs, is to see the character of the Man that you are becoming. She needs that stability in her life. She is watching JF, make no mistake about it. Although when she sees you living your actions (instead of just more words), she feels that she doesn't measure up, and part of the time, it will leave her isolated in the bedroom texting. The other part of the time, it will allow her to be SuperMom with your boys.
Find you, when the times seem the worst. Let the "new" you guide you through this turbulence. Discard all of those old attachment feelings and realize that this is your new reality.
And it will be your new reality, right up until it isn't anymore.
You can stand today, and be done tomorrow. The beauty is that YOU are allowed to change your mind too....
Dig deeper my friend, and find out what it is that allows you to be taken away from what you really believe in...
Find out why you feel the need to engage her when the spew starts...
Take the time to really define what you want in life, in a relationship, and what you expect from yourself.
Work toward positive goals...not on what once was....
