I did not sleep well last night - in turmoil - sweating, pain etc. I got up this morning quite early and sat with my self and my pain. I realised that I cant carry it any longer. My suffering has been too great over the last few weeks. I then remembered "Broken Heart on Hold" and started to read it again. It reminded me of Gods place in all of this. It reminded me that I havent handed this over to God - and I think now is the time. I have reached the point where I cant do it any longer. I have sat here quietly with myself and spoken out - asked God for his help. I have had a sense of calm which I havent felt in days. I guess this is all part of letting go and letting God do His work. I realise that is all I can do. Nothing I do or say will make a difference to WAP now. Our lives are separate. There is no obvious need for communication now or in the future. I now want to use this time to be the best person I can be and be the best mother I can be. If it is Gods will, for WAP to ever be in contact again, then I need to trust that it will happen. I have nothing left to do or give. Would appreciate thoughts? Thanks everyone I x
