Oh thank you canyou? _ what a deep understanding from you, who has the exact same timeline as me, but you seem to have come to a quick understanding. I'm sorry somehow I missed your post before in scanning - it really helped.
M 20 yrs me 47 H 51 s11 d8
BD 10/8/13 H Moved out 11/30/13 OW slept over with children Dec '13 OW moved in w/H Jan '14
I am so upset. 3rd snow day - home with kids which I generally enjoy, but it's raining/sleeting, so can't really sled. Kids are having fun inside, but I went out to shovel out because I was going to have an eye doctor's appointment, but now the office cancelled it. Also started to shovel out the mailbox, which is snowed in so we got a notice from the post office to shovel it out. Well, it is all packed ice and I was trying, but I started crying in the end. I am tired. Husband just happened to arrive as I was crying, because he says he thought we agreed he would watch kids as I went to eye doctor - although I thought I had told him I would get someone else - I am just upset and tired - nothing is working out. It is not bad outside for driving, but eye doctor cancels on one day I had taken off of work (because only day I could schedule). Husband seemed concerned -even called me sweetie - when he saw I was crying, but as I tried to explain, he just kind of shut down. Everyone will say, yes, predictable, I told you so, PMA. Well, work is hard. Maintaining the home alone is hard. Losing emotional support of husband is hard. Having him threaten to take money I have earned - and be supported in this by the law - is hard.
M 20 yrs me 47 H 51 s11 d8
BD 10/8/13 H Moved out 11/30/13 OW slept over with children Dec '13 OW moved in w/H Jan '14
I know it's hard to deal w/all that you have on your plate. Shovel what you can and there's no way you can do anything w/ice. I would call the Post Office and inform them that you've tried to clear around the mailbox, but there's nothing you can do about ice.
As for your eye appointment, I can understand your frustration, but I can also see them closing as they do not want their staff or patients attempting to come in when it's bad outside. It might not be bad outside for driving where you are, the other roads could be slick and slippery. Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't be out on the road today.
Are you off on President's Day? Do they have evening and Saturday appointments? You might want to try to reschedule then.
Have a good cry and then pick yourself up. When it rains, it pours, but tomorrow will be a better day. Things always happen in threes for me...so I do understand how you feel.
Take care and be careful outside!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you job. Things are already getting better - I was able to reschedule the appointment for a time I could make it and, in a strange twist of fate, I called the house of a couple that I knew had a snow plow: Strangely, the wife answered and informed me that her husband (with the plow) had left her too - so although I was met with anger first, because she did not realize I hadn't known, I ended up getting the emotional support of an acquaintance I hadn't realized was in the same situation. And now have a new friend. God works in mysterious ways, no?
M 20 yrs me 47 H 51 s11 d8
BD 10/8/13 H Moved out 11/30/13 OW slept over with children Dec '13 OW moved in w/H Jan '14
Yes, God does work in mysterious ways and sometimes things happen a certain way to get you to focus elsewhere.
I'm glad you were able to reschedule your appointment. See, you've made a new friend this afternoon and who knows...you two may become best buds!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, dx, doing it all alone is really hard and the advice Job gave you is excellent, as always.
I've been following your thread for a while now and can sympathize with you being the hard working one who is expected by law to 'support' someone who doesn't deserve it. He's a 'healthy' man who can get himself a job and take care of himself. After all, he's the one who left! I don't make that much more than my H and when the mediator told us he might be entitled to spousal support I felt as though I had been slapped in the face AGAIN! He gets 2.5 months off in the summer, could get a second job, and actually does do side work for money under the table - good money. Although he says he wouldn't ask for it, as time goes on that may change. I may have to bring up those points.
Anyway, you are doing the best you can, you are getting great advice and support here, and hopefully a year from now things will look a whole lot better. But for now, march on, even if it is 2 steps forward 1 step back - at least you're going in the right direction.
Loved canyou?'s post. Should go in the archives. I copied it and pasted it on a word document to read and re-read. Ya, some pretty sage advice for someone so new at this. Wonder if he's been here before???
Take care, dx. We're all out here looking out for you.
Me 59 H47 M12 T22 No kids BD&S Apr 2,2013 - ILYBINILWY Filed 2/12/14 OW 11/13 The Universe always strikes you at your weakest point because that’s what most needs strengthening." – Joseph Campbell
Love you DX. Just getting caught up on things. Just know I have been think of you and in my prayers. Great you made a friend. ((((DX)))).
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
You to me as well DX. Been a long day litigating. Got an offer from their side....they actually went up more. Can you believe it. It is ridiculous. I will not pay for her BMW. Lol. Glad you're smiling. Keep it up. We are good, responsible people with screwed up situations. The latter will change.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
FloydMan: Oh terrible the long litigating... They want more?! Not fair, not fair.
Anyone: You know, I am still having trouble with the fact that I will have a good mindset for a time, but then slide right back - I had a decent weekend, but today I am having trouble obsessing and just reading these boards... my husband sent me a cute text message attaching something he thought I would find funny. The thing is, I do find it funny. Is this an attempt to string me along? Does he WANT me to not detach - or - I get it, he just has no empathy for me at all. I am trying to have no expectations. But when someone questioned why I found him to be cake-eating earlier, I think this is a small, latest example: he wants to joke around with me, act as if we have been old friends for a long time with no awkwardness, while he lives and has SX with another woman, and brings my kids to stay with them 2x per week, all the while we are still married and he makes no moves in the direction of legal divorce. ??? I don't know how to handle this. It is the height of disrespect for me. But I don't like this way of living. Of course I want my husband with me and my children. I look crazy for allowing myself to be treated like this (by not running to file for divorce myself) and crazy if I do file, because I'm not the one that wants this in the first place. So I wait and watch. And allow myself to be tortured.
M 20 yrs me 47 H 51 s11 d8
BD 10/8/13 H Moved out 11/30/13 OW slept over with children Dec '13 OW moved in w/H Jan '14
You bring me a smile.