It's over. I've called my attorney. I did absolutely everything I could do. I am at peace with this. He doesn't want to work on it and honestly I can't stay in a relationship with someone that has treated me like garbage for almost a year. Forgiving the affair would be a piece of cake compared to overcoming the lies, anger, blame, manipulation, etc...
It is not bitter. We have maintained an amicable relationship. I expect the divorce to go smoothly and co-parenting to be manageable.