I reread the Divorce Remedy, and I realize that since my situation has improved, one technique which I have not used, is something I should start using. The technique is what she called "ask for what you want in action-oriented terms." I did this earlier this week about my W's going out during the week. As my W has been working diligently to expand her circle of friends, she is going out more and more. Sometimes 3 times/week. It's becoming too much. Sometimes, I'm with her, but more often I'm not. For example, on Monday she went to the gym, and then went out afterwards with friends to a bar and returned at 10pm. I'm home with the girls doing everything and then after they're in bed, I'm alone.
So I've had enough of this, and I told her in a non-confrontational type of way. My goal was to set a boundary that she not go out more than once per week. She resisted, saying sometimes it's "spontaneous" and she needs to go out to keep friends, ... So I'm not sure whether she will stay with this, or how long. She did say OK, but it was a dejected, depressed type of OK.
At least, we were able to discuss this issue, which has been an issue for the past 18 months, and discuss it without fighting.
