When I was in your shoes I broke my actions, in regards to the X, into two areas. One being the DB work I was doing and the other being business....or the legal ramifications of everything that was going on.
Business- As has been mentioned...going to consult a lawyer is the responsible thing to do. Now that doesn't equate to a divorce, just protecting your interests. Since you live in NC.....I also suggest that you mention that you believe your wife is having an affair. If you are given the blah about a community state.....remind the lawyer about the criminal conversation and alienation of affection torte laws in North Carolina (sorry people from other states...not many states have these laws anymore). If things get real ugly (see Floyd's thread) such laws may help with custody, etc.
DB- Dude, your wife is MLC. These things usually take years....not months. The truth is...when things start going fast with stuff then you should start worrying....not until then.
There is so much good advice above, I will not add more.
But I will ask...are truly...completely...done?
I don't think you are, but I am occasionally wrong.
