My guess is that you are looking at your cell phone provider on line and can see who and when she texts or calls. So how do you know what it is?
And you responded with this…..
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I know for a fact she is, I would not confront her on it if I did not.
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records don't lie
Since you seem to be vague in your response, I’ll take it that you are checking the phone record activity online daily. For the record – I understand why you would do it. I just don’t understand the vague responses from you. It almost like you are hiding something. Maybe I am wrong.
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To feel loved and make this work we need to be open and honest with each other.
What if she does not feel like she can be honest with you? How would you respond if she said that OM right now makes her feel more like a women? Do you think you would be emotionally strong enough to understand that? Or would you just throw her as* out in a fit of rage?
You are coming across like a pissed off, enraged dude – who really only wants his W back. The deeper work you do not want to touch or talk about. IMO, you may save your M and maybe you can postpone getting divorced for a while…but have you really changed? Really?
Have you given some thought to how long it takes to end an R? Have you factored in that maybe she is really trying to end it with him. For the record – I am NOT saying it is okay for her to contact him, or to text him in front of you – nope. But do you really know what the conversations between them are about? Are you secretly recording her conversations? If so, I can tell you that I knew someone who did that. His X pressed charges on him. He lost that battle.
You are so focused on OM right now that all you can see is the pain that she is causing you. What about the pain you caused her? How long did she put up with your chit? How long did she have to deal with your short comings? Oh wait...that is different - right...cause you changed now.
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I'm starting to think that maybe I just don't know how to answer these questions the way you guys want me to.
It’s not like you are not answering them – you are. Just very very vague.
You obviously want an answer that will just stop the pain.
Mr. Bond has given you this……
Go home and tell her to tell you the truth – if she lies – pack her chit and take her to the OM house with her belongings.
It may work – it may not. Whatever you decide to do make sure that YOU (not pride, not anger, not me, not your friends, not OM, not your kids and not W) are comfortable with the choice that YOU will make.
Before I go…I’ll ask you a point blank question – it requires just an A or B answer.
Is your success criteria defined as
a) I get my W back NOW
Or
b) I become a kick as* dude that any women would be a fool to leave. If that women is my W great – if not, then her loss
What is the answer – A or B?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
