Your last posting indicates a lot of the mlc script. Please come over to the MLC Forum for a visit. You will find that what you are hearing is the mlc script. There are a number of good threads on mlc and the mlc archives have tons of information that will help you better understand the process.
Right now, your h will vilify you because he needs a justification for why he's feeling the way he does. You've done nothing wrong because it's all about him, how he feels and how he sees the world right now. He's very normal for a mlcer and believe me, you'll hear and see more strange things along the way. Only you can determine if they are Memorex or real. As for trying to get him to see the light....you can't. The more you try, the harder he will push you away and run the other way.
No one is saying that you have to be a happy person 24/7. You are going to have days when you are sad, upset and disappointed. BTW, lower your expectations to low or zero because he's not the man you once knew. It's going to take a year or more before he settles himself down and begins to move further into the depression/withdrawal stages. It can take 5, 7 or longer for the entire process to be completed. So, no, he won't wake up quickly. In fact, if he wakes up, it will be just as gradual coming out as it was for him going into the crisis.
You won't begin to piece your marriage until he's almost completed the crisis. Once he's begun to wake up and if he wants to reconcile, that is when you will begin piecing. If he returns home too soon, he may run again because the expectations are too high. Once he's home it will be another 12-18 months before he's completely settled and feels good in his skin once more.
Until he's completed his journey, stay out of his way as much as possible, if you can maintain dim or no contact, it would be better for you. Only contact him if there is an emergency. Live your life to the fullest and do not take a glass of the Kool-Aid he's offering you for it is tainted.
Come over and read some of the threads on MLC. It's not about the red sports car, or the younger women, it's about an emotional ride that requires them go back in time to where they were stunted emotionally and that is generally at the youngster/teenager time period. It's all about growing up.
It's not about you...it's all about him and his issues, issues that you weren't there to be a party to.
Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
