Reaching out for support and advice 3

[melissag]

Blues, I am right where you are with this thought process.

It is extremely difficult to believe that our Hs will suddenly (or even slowly) have a light bulb moment and see that everything they have been doing for however long is all wrong, and that we really are wonderful and they want to be M to us.

I know MWD says that you never would have believed that your H would be the way he is now, so if he can change to not love you anymore and not want the M, why can't he change back to wanting the M?

And while I see the point here, I just think it's so unlikely and, if it does happen, such a long and difficult road.

The one positive I see in your sitch, Blues, is that your H hasn't filed anything, or, if I can recall correctly, even talked about filing anything. So it's possible he does still have one foot in the M. Whether it's because he is still invested in the M, or because he is just too insecure to start over without that security blanket, who knows. But, you have the luxury of time to get yourself together, GAL, move forward with your own life, and get where you need to be emotionally before anything - D or R - happens.

I think you will do much better now that H is not living with you anymore, Blues. It is definitely easier to detach when he is not in your face every day.