Here's the link to "Reaching out for support and advice 3"
Thanks everyone for posting. The support on here is incredible and it makes me wonder what my life would look like if I hadn't found these resources and amazing people.
Thanks for putting the word out, Wonka.
Bug, I totally get what you're saying. He seemed more in control yesterday. If he continues to be volatile, I may set that boundary. But I realize he will run further.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
it's within reason that you set a boundary that says, "I can't be with you if you don't get treatment."
Depression like addiction, affects the whole family. Recognizing that and protecting ourselves with boundaries is a step in our healing process.
This is where we seem to view differently. Let me try to reframe this in another way.
Addiction suggests a choice. Depression does not suggest a choice since it is organic with chemical imbalance. When one is in addiction...it is through an external source (drugs, alcohol, porn) where one needs to make a conscious choice to continue with it or not. Whereas chronic, clinical depression is organic...how can one elect to continue with it or end it?
I am with you on the protection from addiction. I just don't agree with the boundary setting for depression: "I can't be with you if you don't get treatment." It is like telling a cancer patient that you cannot be with him/her until he seeks treatment. It is an illness that the person with cancer did not actively seek out. Likewise with MLC.
Do you see what I'm driving at here? I did not choose depression when I was in MLC. It is all a part of the MLC fog that needs to work its way through before it is lifted from the MLCer. Which is why I said in my thread that my fog "dissipates" slowly.
When it comes to addictive behaviors, the family and loved ones set in boundaries as a protective measure because of the potential harm and destruction. Depression does not hurt you or any other people but the person who experiences it.
