MLC and Covert Depression at 62?

[LoisB]

Innis, sweetie, it's only been 5 weeks. Your expectations for yourself are way too high. Slow down. Way down.

If your H had died five weeks ago, no one would expect you to be detached and over it by now. It's silly, isn't it? When you think of it like that?

This part is just gonna stink. There's no way around it. It's gonna hurt, a lot. Don't push it down. Accept it for what it is. Feel the emotions that come up bravely.

Your H is exercising his right to avoid. He is avoiding his feelings. He is acting with cowardice. You, however, have a choice to bravely face the situation.

Accept things as they are today, sh!tty. Strangely, once you accept the truth for today, you open yourself up to heal and feel better. And, IT GETS BETTER!!! Really!!

"Robust" is not a word I would use at this stage of the game.

There may be some truth in your H having "fun" right now. It doesn't mean he is gone forever, he doesn't love you down deep, doesn't mean all those years you spent together weren't real... it means he is a broken man who is finding his relief in some unhealthy, selfish ways right now.

Face the reality of who he is today. Cry it out.

But, while you are grieving and feeling the REALITY of this situation, he is avoiding his feelings. This will bite him in the A$$. Maybe not today, but it will bite him.