Barrybran III - New job, new life?

[Barrybran]

I really don't know how to respond to any of that. Reading and thinking about it has given me a lump in my throat though. I have a lot of deep issues when it comes to taking charge.

Journaling:

Today has been interesting still. I received an email from a company I called up about regarding work in my field. They said my resume had wound up in their junk folder and wrote to let me know they found it and that they'd call in the next couple of weeks as they were looking for people. I'm pretty keen to pursue the Subway job as it's in town but since it's a trial it won't hurt to speak to this other group.

Speaking of Subway, when I was at the grocery store, the lady I'll be taking over from hadn't seen me and was talking about the situation. ie. me coming in, her training me up and then leaving town herself. Since I walked into the store to hand my resume in the whole process has been more about when's than if's and they have me doing the trial more to see if I want to stay than if I'll be able to do the job.

Lately, my wife has been coming home at different times due to work and the gym. I decided to push our dinner time back so the kids had a chance to eat dinner with her. Unfortunately, my wife has returned home later than expected the last couple of nights about half an hour before the kids are due to go to bed. Tonight, I gave up waiting and dished up dinner only for her to walk in the door as I put it on the table. I value dinnertime as family time but my wife doesn't appear to have the same value or interest which I feel is unfair on the kids. Unfortunately, I'm going to bring dinner time forward next week and let my wife work around us instead of the other way round.

After dinner, my wife asked me to redo our budget with my new income. She was happy with the result and we talked about some money things both real and dreams. When we were discussing details about separation we looked into having separate homes and we investigated the option of going on welfare. Tonight, she made a mention that she was glad we didn't have to go down that path anymore. A short while later, she mentioned that she'd like to go away for her 30th birthday with female friends of hers. I have mixed feelings about this as I have friends who take separate holidays away from their spouse as well as holidays with their spouse and I'd love to try it... just not for a major event in our lives. I felt it was pretty disrespectful but I also feel that I'm being disrespectful of her by wanting to take the place of her friends. Thankfully, it's over 18 months away so I'll just treat it as an off the cuff thing for now and deal with it later.