It was a fantastic weekend. Really great. Just to be away some place warm without my precious girls and no endless To Do list hanging over me.
The girlfriend I stayed with kept telling me I really needed to go on vacation more often because I was overly impressed by everything.
2 things I wanted to journal
1. xH is definitely making more of an effort this week with the girls. He has called every night including saturday night which he never ever does. The conversations are still brief and he has made no effort to face time or skype but there is definitely a tiny tiny change in him.
I always thought my H would have an equally big explosion back into reality as he did into his fantasy life but that may not be the case. hmmm....
2. Took the girls ice skating again today. It took all my positive energy and motivation just to get the girls out of the house. We have gone ice skating prob. 10x but this was the first time we went to a recently renovated rink in a nearby park. It was quite a schlep from our house. We took a cab but then still had to walk through the park a bit (my girls are 3 & 5). Also I left my cell phone in the cab!! Then we finally make it to the rink and get on the line turns out it was the wrong line we had to wait on the other line first. We go back outside wait on the other line then D5 falls and hits her butt hard starts crying almost hysterically. I am some how able to calm her down but I realize I am crying.
At that moment I hated him soooo much. Hated him for making being a parent even harder then it has to be. Hated him for not taken care of us. Hated him for not wanted to be with us. I just hated him. What type of man/human/person leaves a woman with when she has two young kids to care for?
We forge ahead. I actually bumped into a guy from work with his 12 yr old daughter. The Daughter was perfect for my girls, she loved them and they loved her. We had a nice time.
Proud of myself for keeping with a PMA but still it was a hard day and it stinks sometimes not having a partner.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I'm glad you had fun with your kids and nothing like another " older" kid to help entertain your kids. I know it's difficult, but you are showing your kids how special they truly are. Your h is missing out on a special time with your kids, but I'm glad to hear he is putting a little more effort into the relationship.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I'm very happy to read that you enjoyed your time away. You need to do that more often, when time and money permits. You needed the time away for rest and enjoyment all for you. LOL!
I'm glad you and your daughters enjoyed ice skating. It's more fun when you have others join in and do things w/your daughters.
You sound so much better and stronger these days.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My xH and I own a condo that we rent out in a resort town. Renter is paying 60% of our mortgage/maintanence. My ex is dying to sell the place even though right now its worth less then we paid 8 yrs ago. We have it listed for the amount remaining on the mortgage. We have gotten 1 very low offer that we did not counter - now the same people have come back with another below our ask but not as low.
My xH just doesnt seem to care how much money we lose and basically wants to take any offer we get. I feel like we can afford the mortgage payment why not wait until the place increases in value or at least play hard ball in our negotiations. He says to me "We need to sell" meanwhile I am the one paying the mortgage.
Today I hate him so much for the financial havoc he brought upon or family.
If he begged to come back to us tomorrow I dont know if I would take him back. It would be really hard to forgive all he has said, done and implied about me.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
It is all about what they want. To heck with anyone else, including their kids.
I was feeling the same way today. Both about the financial havoc and the wanting him back in my life. But right now he has OW so I don't need to even broach down that dark alley.
Hang in there.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I'm feeling the same today. The days of living with an addict are becoming more of a distant memory. And, when I do remember, I think of the things that were really frustrating and exhausting.
Remember living with someone and never knowing if they were telling you the truth? Even about the little stuff?
Remember how they would leave the house and say they'd return in 20 minutes or so and 3 hours later you were still waiting for them to return? Wondering if he was using? Wondering where he was? Who he was with and knowing that-when he did return--I wouldn't get the whole story.
It's slowly dawning on me how not everyone lives like this. Who knew!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
That sounds so much like my life too. Either. Except my H drinks. But same experience. Ugh
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Hi Guys - Just checking in. All is good here in NY. I think I was the only one happy today that school were open so that my kids would be out of the house.
Feeling good most days. Some days being a single mom is super hard and I curse the xH but its his loss missing out on my beautiful girls. I do get sad because it is also my girls loss not having a dad around.
Last night at bedtime I was talking to the girls about "Respect for All" week that they are having in school and how if you dont like someone you should just not play with them you can play with someone else you never say anything mean. D3 said well I dont like Daddy. I said "what. You don't like Daddy" and she says just kidding.
She is 3.
I have never said a bad word about him to my kids and always tell the girls Daddy loves you so so much. But I know they know. I know this has and will effect them both.
The other day I felt a pang of happiness when the girls told me H was using a car from work and not his GF car. Also felt happiness that GF has not been spending every weekend with my girls when they are with xH.
THen I feel guilt for caring wtf he doing and I feel bad for even having a ounce of hope.
I hate him so so much for leaving all 3 of his girls, it makes me so mad at myself for fantasizing about a ba$tard like he is. I did not want to hold out even the smallest sliver of hope for him I want to be done done done.
Thanks for listening
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
